dal niente

Month: June, 2016

Even free money is stressful

You’d think it was as easy as buying anything else, except that it’s just more expensive. Not exactly true. Getting a loan is a lot of paperwork, and timing is important– if you don’t get it all sorted before settlement date, you could lose your deposit.

[CM]’s parents are helping us with the purchase, which is loads nice of them– but it’s mentally very difficult for me to deal with managing such a huge hand-out. I’ve always figured that I would work my way up and get everything I owned– to be lent so much money by a bank and by CM’s parents is actually pretty stressful to my nature.

If that sounds complicated, the basic gist of it is that if you don’t get your shit together in a limited amount of time, you lose tens of thousands of dollars. For nothing!


Money works in weird ways.


I am happy to be moving into a proper house that we will own though– that cats will love what we build for them.



Overall, things are going well, and things are getting better, but there are select areas where things could be better.

I’m injured– again.

This time a bit more seriously than usual. I was at judo about a month ago doing groundwork with someone who was about 40kg heavier than me. I tried to turn him over by taking his weight forward and on my right leg. If you want to see what I was doing, youtube “butterfly turnover” and that’ll pretty much demonstrate it.

Anyway, I’m doing the move, and then suddenly, I hear a very bad sound. It’s hard to describe– somewhere between a crunch and a rip– and next thing I know, I’ve just completely flopped on my side and I can’t move my leg.

One visit to the GP later, and one ultrasound later, and another appointment to review later, and the dianosis is a “major partial tear to the adductor longus”. If you saw the ultrasound, it’s pretty apparent.

Although I can walk unassisted now, when I was first injured, it was the first time in my life I’ve ever had to use crutches.

I can walk without a cane now, but I can’t sit up without some clever maneuvering, and running is impossible. Coughing or sneezing sends white pain through my whole body, to the point where I just kind of hunch over paralysed for a few seconds.

I’ve only now regained the ability to drive (I drive a manual car).

I started doing martial arts in late high school– it’s been over 15 years now. Even on the off times when I wasn’t doing a martial art, I was always playing badminton.


Not having an activity to go to is a real challenge for me.