Life as an adult

I’m not sure where it happened exactly, but for some reason I’m now in a category of people called “adults”.

I know that when I was younger, so much of my time was spent trying to get adults to take me seriously– and now, I hang around paralegals or I teach law students on a daily basis who are more than a decade younger than me. I do judo with people who are a little over half my age.

 

I don’t know when the transition just happened– it really kind of snuck up on me, I think over the past two years.

 

I don’t know if everyone gets this feeling at some point. I wouldn’t say it’s a bad one– it’s just different, and it takes getting used to. Sort of like how I don’t ride a bicycle so much anymore– I mean, I still do, maybe once every couple of weeks as an alternative to the train. But it’s not that daily 20km trek because I wanted to save money. Now, I commute on public transit. When [CM] goes to work, she drives, or sometimes I drive her.

Yes, I drive now. I’ve driven for a bit over two years now.

 

When I was in Canada a few months back, it was because I went to visit my dad, who I found out, he had cancer. Treatments have been good, and it looks like the got it all– which is a relief. But I wonder and worry sometimes if he’s bored in retirement, if him and mom are getting along well enough… all that sort of stuff. Adult worries.

Maybe that’s been the thing that set this whole “adult” thought in my head. My grandfather passed away less than a year ago. The last time I saw him was when I was in Canada for my wedding.

I miss having grandparents. I keep telling myself that I’ll write down more about them… but then nothing comes to mind. I don’t know what to write about, because nothing comes up.

My dad says he misses his parents a lot.

And so I worry about things back in Canada.

 

It’s not that I want to go back– I’ve got a  life here now in Australia with CM.  It’s just… adult concerns I guess. These things I think about now that I’m an adult.

2017

There was a trending idea in 2016 that things were more terrible than other years. Lots of famous celebrities died, certain people were elected, and certain countries separated.

Does that really affect you? And by affect you, I mean, does it change the way you are going to live your life?

I going to be in my mid thirties this year– and maybe it’s because [CM] and I have been living such busy and isolated lives out here in Sydney that I’ve become cynical of cynics.

My grandfather passed away in 2016. It was a bit difficult for me, because there are dimensions of strangeness to experiencing an environment of family grief vicariously through Google Hangouts and emails. But I also got to see my family come together a bit. And that was nice.

As time goes on, I am appreciating family more and more. This is a strange turn of events, considering that I am also further from most family than ever before.

I got really injured in 2016– I tore my adductor longus doing judo, which is the muscle in your groin area that alows you to pull your leg inwards. I coulding walk for a couple of weeks, and even now, more than half a year later, I still feel weakness in my leg to do a soccerball  pass type kicking motion.  That injury put me out of sports for half a year. It was a very tough time for me mentally– but I think I’ve gotten over it, and I’m mentally a tougher person because of it.

-=-=-=-=-

In 2016:

• I got married. (Twice! Once in Sydney for our new Australian friends and family, and once in Montreal for our Canadian friends and family.)
• Grandpa passed. Which was a bad thing, but if you know what I mean, it’s also a good thing.
• I got to visit family in Montreal for the first time in a long time– Grandpa even made it to our wedding.
• We bought a house. And we put down a deposit on an investment property.
• I built a floor! Or rather, we tore up all the carpets, and replaced it with wood. This might not seem like much, but when I was growing up, my family was all about home renovations. My parents are very handy people, and it was always a matter of pride as much as economics to build the home up to be a place to live in which has history in the actual walls. This was my first major project.
• I also built a bedside nightstand. The finished product doesn’t look anything like what was planned, but the cats like to sleep in it, so I guess I can’t complain too much.
• I quit a part time job as a tutor (the equivalent of a “teaching assistant” in North America) and was lucky enough to land a job as a lecturer (a higher ranking sort of teacher) at a bigger university, as part of the law school I attended.
• I was given raises at my primary job. Twice. And I now have an army of interns to help me out.
• I finally managed to fix up my garage gym.
• I finally got a driver’s license. After over 3 decades on this planet, yes, I have a driver’s license. That also entailed actually learning to drive, which wasn’t easy. Aside from the problems that come with learning manual generally, being a cyclist, I had this problem of constantly wanting to centre myself in the lane according to my field of vision (rather than the shape of the car)
• I finally managed to go back to New York, and we even managed to meet up with a form Xangan, [VisualNoise]. I’ve been reading his stuff for… what? A decade? Almost two?

Maybe it’s because I don’t spend all that much time on Facebook nowadays (believe it or not, I actually have to manage my online persona for professional reasons) but I don’t see what was so bad about 2016. Maybe social media makes us feel more a part of something if we jump onboard and have a big bitch together.

 

I frankly don’t have the time or energy for that. And further, I don’t see the point, if I’m not going to or can’t do something about it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I was just reflecting on something– when I was younger, when I was leaving high school and spending time in college, there were a number of things that I wanted to do with my life. WIthout even remembering my goals back then, they just sort of happened. It just took another couple of decades to make it happen.

When I was young, I thought it would be great if I could open up my own martial arts school. Well, I’ve not exactly done it, but I’ve done it pretty damn close– I’ve opened (and closed) a handfull of martial arts clubs by renting other peoples’ gyms over the past couple of decades. I’ve taught a bit too, basics anyway.

And now I have a home dojo set up in the garage– with 8 sections of tatami set out. I’ve had people over a handful of times so far, and it has been great.

 

I always wanted to be a teacher. When I was in college, I was too much of  fuckup to do things by the book– I spent too much time skipping classes and playing videogames to really get the paperwork and grades straight.

But now, I’ve graduated with honours, have been working as a repsectable lawyer for a couple of years, and have a part time gig lecturing at my old law school.

 

“People change” and “people never change” are cliches, I suppose.

-=-=-=-=-

In 2017:

• Finally got issues sorted out with Red Cross, and am back on the donor list. Apparently since I started donating blood for shits and giggles a few years ago, I’ve saved 36 lives. That is probably a lot of marketing exaggeration, but it’s nice of them to say things like that nonetheless. GIven that I’m one of those almost universal donor types, I guess you can say that I’m hot stuff in the blood donor world (ahem). But the way I look at it, if you believe in tit for tat, one day I might need blood, and being a universal donor also means that I’m a rare blood type that has a lot of trouble finding people who can give me blood. I guess you can say I’m hedging my cosmic bets and hoping it all balances out.
• I’m back in training. There is a new generation of fresh 18 and 19 year old judokas at the dojo who are only getting stronger and faster as the weeks go– but I’ll do my best to beat them down and, if nothing else, use me as a stepping stone to greater heights.
• We’ve started gardening. There’s some satisfaction that comes with growing things again– I haven’t done any gardening since I lived at my parents’ place, about a decade ago. It’s the mark of “owning your own place” to be gardening.
• We’ve got a worm farm composter on the way (in the mail). Again… we get satisfaction out of really making our home our castle. It’s a nice state of life to be in because we’re finally in a place of our own, as opposed to something we’re renting and have no control over. We don’t actually know anything about composting, but as we become a bit more in control of how we live our lives, it’s our chance now to dictate with more control how much of an impact we have on our environment.
• We’ve started bushwalking (“hiking”, as it’s called in North America). Which is what you should do in a place like Australia, because there is so much out there that we’ve never taken the time to look at while we were in law and med school.

Just saying–2016 doesn’t look that bad, and 2017 looks like just as many opportunities. Shit happens, but it only gets real bad if we don’t do anyhing about it or spend too much time thinking about things that don’t matter.

 

Anyway, I’m off work sick today. Should probably get back in bed.

 

The cavalry is on its way

On Friday, [CM]’s parents are arriving from Asia. On Saturday, my parents are arriving from North America. On Sunday, my sister is arriving.

 

That’s good because there’s a shit ton of things to do before the wedding!

 

***

 

I’m ultra busy this week. I have to grade a gazillion papers, plus I’m teaching twice as many classes for this week and next week in exchange for someone replacing me whyile I’m on my honeymoon. It’s busy.

I don’t really remember many times in my life when I’ve had free time. Nobody would say that this was one of those times though.

 

***

 

Working at the [Firm] has gotten better. As I mentioned, [Bucky] left to work for another company, so I finally got that raise I always wanted, and I’m now working on more legal stuff (as opposed to IT). It’s a good change of pace because I actually feel like a lawyer at work now, and it gives me a bit more confidence in my career path generally.

***

As part of the new home we purchased a few months ago, we have a huge 6m x 6m garage, which is slowly but surely being converted into what CM calls my “man cave”. It’s sorta like a batcave, except that I am not Batman.

I’ve been putting shelving along the walls so that I can store more and more things vertically. It also has a hanging punching bag on a stand, as well as a home gym set which I am in the process of assembling. In my free time. Wherever that is.

***

I’ve been practicing my first dance with CM for the wedding. I am totally not cut out for this, but I can still learn it to the best of my ability.

It’s interesting that in judo, the whole purpose of footwork is to put your partner off balance and make them fall over. I’m told that dancing is a bit different.

Sticking to the plan

So my weight has gone back up to about 78.4, which means I’m behind schedule on dropping weight– but, the good news is that with the past 3 weeks of being back to training at least twice a week, I’m putting muscle mass back on.

 

I should probably have explained why, as someone whose competition weight is sub-73kg to begin with, why I was even approaching 80kg?

 

Well, it all started in late December 2016. I was doing technical practice with one of the green belts. He was working on a technique called ucchi matta which is a staple of competitions– it’s not for everyone though, and is considered a more advanced technique because it needs a bit more coordination, flexibility and balance than your typical basic throws.

Anyway, it was the part of the class where you practice throws– the thrower, tori, practices the trow, while the throwee, uke, goes along with the throw. Going along with the throw doesn’t mean that you take a dive or jump or throw yourself– it means that you’re to simulate an opponent who isn’t trying to throw them. How much resistance to their trow you use is variable, depending on what you’re trying to work on.

 

Anyway, he tries uchi matta on me but about halfway through the throw (the whole thing only takes a second) he’s losing his balance and control of the throw– it’s also clear to me from the way his hands are position that he’s basically going to land on his own face. That wouldn’t be a problem in most situations, since the ground is padded– but with the weight of his body mostly driving forward and down, that means that his 70 or so kilos are going to come crashing into his head. With his hands the way they are, one around my collar behind my neck and the other far at his side, has no hands to block his fall with. WIth one leg high up kicking my leg out, and the other one losing balance, he has no ability to push forward and roll with it– he’s basically going to do a nose dive, which is actually pretty dangerous for your neck. He hasn’t quite cleared me with the throw either, so that means that in the tangle, depending on how he twists when he his the ground, he might also have my weight added to the drive. Again, not good for his neck.

 

Sigh. So,  with just the tips of my right foot’s toes still touching the ground, I twist myself to correct his throw a bit so that we still collapse, but the fall is delayed enough so that he can recover and protect himself a bit.

Unfortunately for me, his recovery is him pulling up a leg and dropping his full weight through his knee on my inner left thigh. Two days later, physiotherapist speculates that I have a grade 1 tear to my left groin.

Okay, so light training after that. That leads to me overcompensating a bit, and I in turn cause a strain of my left glutes. In turn, that eventually cascades, partly due to sitting at a desk job, into a pain in my sacro-lumbar muscles all the way to my right side. For whatever reason, I wasn’t even training, but my back got worse before it got better.

Long story short– part of the reason for my 5-6 kilo weight gain was that for the months of January, February, and the first half of March, I was away from training due to a moderate back injury. I take a bus to work on most mornings, and it’s about a 50 minute commute. After sitting on the bus for that length of time, it was actually paralysingly painful to stand up when it was my stop. The first step off the bus onto the sidewalk (buses are pretty high off the ground in Sydney) would sometimes send shotting pains up my back. I had trouble in the mornings getting out of bed, putting on pants and socks. I got used to using only my shoes with no laces, or which I could comfortably stuff my feet into with an extra-long Ikea shoe horn.

 

-=-=-=-

 

To top it off, for the end of December and the first half of January, [CM]’s parents were staying with us. This is a great thing, really– they literally do nothign but cook and clean for us. But it did also mean that, aside from not having any activity to burn calories, I was also eating a home cooked Chinese dinner every night, and I was eating about 50% more than I normally wood. You can do the caloric math even without specifics to understand why I simply got fat, fast.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Now however, it’s the time to trim it all off– I’m not going to compete any time soon (if at all) because my back still isn’t 100% back to normal. However, I have to start looking into getting fitted for a suit for my wedding– so I need to be getting back to a normal shape that I expect to maintain.

Blue

Was tested, and earned a blue belt today!

Wohoo!

Although, this means that now, I’ll be stuck fighting blue belts and brown belts. These people are usually pretty damned tough.