Post Vacation Vacation
Now back in Sydney from Hong Kong, things are returning a bit back to our daily routine. This means a couple of things.
Work resumes on Monday; I look forward to having a bit of a daily routine, but I’m less than enthused considering the last few times I worked– I made a major mistake for a client in December, and over the holidays, had a lot of trouble collaborating over the internet with [the Firm] which lead to a lot of my work largely being for nothing. It’s all left a sour taste in my mouth, but I’m looking forward to the chance to get things right and build things in the right direction.
[CM] still doesn’t have an internship, and yesterday night had a meltdown about it. It hasn’t been easy, and I feel that I’ve come to resent med school, even though I’m not in it. It’s taken more than its fair share of my life I think. The mental scars that it’s left on CM are going to last for a long time and I wonder at times if it’s even worth it for her to keep trying.
That all sounds quite grim for the future I suppose, especially at the start of a new year. I ask myself sometimes, where am I compared to before? And there are a lot of different ways to measure this.
I’m a smarter person now– stronger, tougher and all that. My career is finally starting and I have free time now. Financially, we’re more secure now that the source of our debts, school, will cease, and rather than having just a string of part-time jobs, I’m working at a single place. So things are better, professionally.
But what about other things? I don’t feel that I’m any happier than I was before with CM– and that’s mostly because her life is completely on hold while this internship situation is ambiguous. This ambiguity may still be the case for another year– does this mean that we’re going to have to keep picking up the peices, and falling apart every few days, all over again for another year?
Our baby cat, who is now about 14 weeks old, has arrived. I haven’t thought of an appropriate internet pseudoname for her yet, but she’s in good healthy and energetic. More to say about her later, but I have guests over at the moment so will need to entertain.