Mondays

by Jinryu

Monday was the  first day of summer school.  So far the class, dealing with consumer law, seems quite interesting– the lecturer knows her stuff and likes to link the class topics to everyday consumer life, which is always a plus in an area of study often prone to very dogmatic discussions.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Keeping my motivation up has been a bit difficult lately.  Since roughly New Year’s eve, [CM] has been in Canada doing a couple of electives.  She’ll be there until March.

It’s been a long time since I’ve lived alone, so the sudden switch in lifestyle has been a bit confusing for me on many levels.  Simple things, really.  For example– I realized shortly after beginning to cook dinner that I instinctively had cooked way too much– as in, about two peoples’ worth of food.  So one of the things that I’ve had to adapt to is figuring out how to eat couples’ sized food packages of meat to the dietary needs of a single person without a microwave.

Sure, it is nice to walk around the apartment all day in my underwear whenver I want.

But I’ve come to the realisation that so much of my life is interwtined with CM that it’s hard to live without her around.  I’m less inclined to be in a good mood.  Less outgoing.  Less likely to cook myself three proper meals per day.  Less likely to sleep on time (or properly) or be anything but a sloth in general.

Yeah, things are changing a bit because now that I’m back to school.  School has the nice way of imposing a regimen on my life that I need to answer to.  But otherwise?

Thankfully, we’re not going to be apart for too long.  However, everything so far has reminded me of something I’d forgotten about with working with the elderly– that having a significant other suddenly removed from your life can be a hugely traumatic event.

Especially in the case, like mine, where most of my human interaction in a day was with CM.  I never did spend much time socialising with people at school or work, which due to the   shortage of free time in general.  Once I was back in our apartment, without her there, I just found it strange that I could go days without ever saying anything.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

For all the adventures that we embark on in life, the fact of the matter is that we still rely on the comforts of familiarity and routine.  There need to be anchoring points or something.

For the first week, I didn’t even have any judo going on.  All I had going for me was jetlag and video games– which was probably a good combination, since the Sydney heat waves made it prohibitive to fire up the PS3 during daylight.

It’s only the second week of January but I can’t wait for CM to come back.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I talked to CM about it.  Things haven’t exactly been a cakewalk for her in Canada either.  She’s doing a psychology elective for a juvenile detention facility.  Sometimes, the stories or people she meet keep her up at night.  They are the stories of minors who have been found guilty of theft, property damage (including making a car explode), assault, and rape.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Given that we’re so both to relying on eachother for mutual emotional support, the distance is sure making that a bit tough.  But I think that in the end this might be something good for us– it’ll make us a stronger couple in the end because we’ll be more able to survive independently, and find that better balance between trust and neediness.

Advertisements