by Jinryu

In case you didn’t know, guys, you can actually get stainless steel or titanium jock straps to protect your family jewels.

I had to look on eBay recently to get a replacement cup protector. For you ladies who don’t know what I’m talking about, normally you get this g-string sorta thing which has a protective, hard shell “bannana hammock” in it. This reduces the risk of injury from various scenarios, such as football in the groin, kick in the groin, knee in the groin, punch in the groin, etc– but I’m sure you can tell what the pattern is.

About a month ago I actually broke my jock strap. That’s never really happened before, and honestly, I didn’t think it was possible, because the plastic used is actually quite tough if you ask me. I don’t specifically remember a particular instance where someone kneed or kicked me in the groin on purpose (it does happen every now and then by accident though) where it might have simply cracked, but I do know that at some point I just became aware that, well, my groin area was making these cracking noises.

I went shopping for a replacement online and decided to upgrade from the basic strap-on groin protector and went for something a bit more elaborate– Shock Doctor padded compression shorts, with cup protector. I received the item today. The compression shorts are great– perfect fit. They also have some light padding around the hip bone area. In my old age, any extra injury prevention is probably worth it, because I don’t heal as well as I used to. I wear a size medium pretty comfortaby.

Medium for the shorts, anyway.

For some reason, totally beyond me, they decided to send an XXL cup protector though. I’m not sure why they’d assume that my order for medium shorts meant that I wanted XXL for the groin protector.

I’m going to return it. I tried the shorts on with the cup inserted, and even with my judogi on top, [CM] thinks I’ve got this massive boner just sticking straight out.

!*@#%* online stores.