Back Down Under
So, I’m back in Sydney.
Arrived yesterday morning. I spent most of yesterday feeling quite miserable– the plane rides to get me back here were quite taxing on me. Aside from the crazy dry air on the last plane (that was making my eczema flare up really badly) there were 3 crying babies that made it impossible to sleep and a sick person at across the isle whose cold I seem to have caught. All in all? I feel like shit today.
I am, however, at school, in to submit a nomination form, since I’ll be going after a Law Faculty Board position again this semester. Kind dumb, but if I had only filled out this damn form about week ago, I would have won by default. Now, if anyone else tries to sign up, then it’ll go down to elections– and I don’t have the patience for campaigning, so I guess that’s all there is to that!
Despite how lousy I feel right now, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinnig about [Zanshin]’s wedding. It really was a good wedding, least of all because it had excellent food. People looked sharp. I think it just feels more important when you notice that people in the room really want the new husband and wife to do well– there’s just this incredible feeling of support going on.
People often ask me if I miss home. In general, I don’t– I have [CM] with me here in Australia, and that’s the single largest factor that contributes to me being a sane, effective person. Whenever I’m away from [CM], I feel bit lost ad empty. Even being sick and miserable is better when she’s around.
But at the same time, while I was at the wedding, I couldn’t help but feel a bit notalgic– nostalgic of the time when I used to be a part of something. I mean, a huge group of people who all know me and who I share history with. Not that that was the case at the wedding– in reality, I basically knew only the groom and one of his friends. But to see so may people who knew the groom and the bride? I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous of their position, supported by so many people who clearly wish only the best for them.
In contrast, CM and I often wonder: why does life have to be so hard? Why does it always feel like we’re out here on our own?
The answer is rather obvious– because we don’t have the time to make the deeply rooted relationships that we want. When we lived in Montreal, we had all the friend and free time in the world– now, that situation is completely reversed.
At the wedding, I was given the privilege of giving the best man speech. It went better than i expected– a lot of people actually approached me afterwards an told me how they enjoyed it! I don’t know if that’s just common wedding courtesy or something, but whatever. Originally, I prepared something like 15+ minute of yak yak yak because I was afrai that thats what the maid of honour was going to do. I heard that the maid of honour was basically going to read from a sheet. In the end, she came up with some thoughts on the fly, expressing what she thought in an impromptu fashion. I did the same, throwing out everything I had written– and it was better like that anway.
Writing speech about Zanshin, in any case, was a cool exercise– it revealed to me really how much history the two of us have. I have never experieced as many literally life-or-death situations with others as I have with him. And I’ve seen him grow from who he was when we met in high school to who he is today. The changes, the evolution… not only of our relationship, but of him, well, it’s astounding.
I’m really happy for you, Z.