Rock on

by Jinryu

Date: January 8, 2010
Time: 00:57
Location: @work
Morale: 🙂
Batteries: 85% (Wow!)

It’s amazing how much better I feel when I’m at work if I’ve slept enough and I’ve spent a few minutes talking to [Supergirl] on the phone.

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The Mazda MPV was one of the first vans (if not the first) that sported dual sliding doors. A kid came in last week missing all of his teeth. How do we connect these dots?

So, mom opens a sliding door, puts kid in a chair. As she explains it, because her hands are kinda full, when one his boots falls off into the dirty snowy slush, she decides to put the boot on top of the van. She circles around to the other side of the car where she opens the other sliding door to dump some other cargo in.

She closes one (1) sliding door. She forgets about the boot on the roof. She forgets about the other door which she didn’t close. Then she gets into the driver’s seat and takes off.

Next thing she knows, she’s rolling down her street and then her kid is hanging on the van just outside the passenger side window screaming about how the boot is gone. She screams, and slams on the breaks. If you know anything about the laws of physics, you can imagine what happens to the kid when the car comes to a near immediate halt: and that’s how we arrive at “missing all of his teeth.”

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“I don’t actually work here,” he joked. “I mean, you think I’m a nurse or a doctor, but really, I’m in… uh… housekeeping. I just found this stethoscope. There’s no help to be found here. Go home.”

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Last night was Rockband night at the House of Sloth (the name affectionately monikered to my apartment). [Paladin], [Rda], [SiB] and [U1] came over to jam and it was, as always, some good wholesome fun. There were, as always, those people who were invited who said they’d call back or whatever who didn’t, but alas—that’ll always be the case. We had a great time either way, though the more the merrier in most cases. I do have the Beatles Edition of Rockband on top of the regular Rockband game, so it would be kind of cool to try the 6 player mode at some point…

I think the big thing about Rockband is that it’s cheaper than Karaoke. Mind you, it’s not exactly the same thing—but since we’ve installed some Christmas lights in my living room, and we serve alcohol, all we need are the ultra-cheeze Asian music videos and our home noraebang trifecta will be complete. The nice plus about Rockband vs traditionall Karoke is that not everybody wants to sing—but anyone can be a drum monkey or riff out on a guitar on Easy mode.

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It’s always really good for me to meet up with Paladin and Rda, because they’re just insanely positive people. Despite hardships, they keep their heads up high. Paladin has always been like that, but I especially enjoy Rda (now Paladin’s fiancé) when she has the time to join in. Much like Paladin, she’s a very level headed, yet passionate and encouraging sort of person.

They are the first people I’ve talked to who really gave me the impression that they wanted me to really go for my Masters and continue to put my everything into my relationship with [Supergirl]. It’s not that my other friends don’t encourage me, it’s just different. I suppose, largely because I give them the impression that I know what I’m doing (or that I’m going to do whatever I want in spite of their advice anyways) they mostly support my decisions and will be there for me if I make bad ones that get me into situations where I might need their backup. The difference between Paladin and Rda and my other friend is that they’re not backup—they’re at the front, right there with me.

I suppose it’s because we share some similarities. Paladin graduated in the Arts. Rda graduated in sciences, but like me, she mucked around a lot in university and thus doesn’t have much of a GPA to boast about, especially not when applying for a masters. Mostly though, I have plenty of friends who are just, relationship wise, not doing anything towards finding someone. Which, mind you, isn’t just me being all snobby just because I’m quite happy with my current status. It’s fine to not do anything as far as finding a special someone goes—so as long as you don’t bitch about how you’re alone. Paladin and Rda weren’t the sort who sat around waiting for things to happen, and they had a really rough, dramatic start to their relationship involving obstacles that the vast majority of early couples break up over, saying “this isn’t worth it.”

Theirs isn’t really my story to tell, but it brings forth a big issue with the whole dating scene: how do you know who is worth fighting for? How do you know who is a “keeper”? How do you know, if you assume you will always grow, who is the best you can do?

Sometimes it really isn’t worth it. Sometimes though people are just being lazy about accepting responsibility for their futures.

To this, I look back on past relationships and why they ended. Read what some people’s takes on the subject and they call their “Why it didn’t work” lists or, at times, W3 (What Went Wrong) and I guess I could look at my own past failed relationships sum it all up. It was the timing. We just argued about everything. She didn’t have her life together. She didn’t care enough. My feelings changed. Family issues. I just didn’t care enough to make it work. There’s a whole list of reasons I could come up with for each relationship.

Whatever the case, hindsight only offers this much—that is to say, it only gives you an interpretation of that which is behind you. But as to the future?

The thing about persistence is that it has a lot to do with repeitition. Those who we call persistent are the people who don’t quit after doing something wrong the first time, they do it wrong a second and third time as well. Some people from the sidelines like to say that they should just learn from their mistakes, but that’s exactly what they’re doing. Everytime you go into a relationship, it’s a bit of how much you put in, a bit of how much she puts in, and a bit of plain old luck. And there’s no way to find that sort of serendipity except by making mistakes.

There is that experession, living in the past, and it is apt for all things, relationships included. I talk to some people about relationships, not necessarily because I need advice, but sometimes because I just want to share things that are important to me. Just I’m not preachy about it, mind you. I know that I’m crazy about Supergirl, but most of my gushing if any is done here on this blog, I seldom do too much of it as obviously in person.

Don’t you want to hear about things that are important in the lives of your friends? I talk about Supergirl as I do other things in my life, like work, family, hobbies, movies… But sometimes, all I get in return is grief, and not just grief, but prehistoric grief. I get all this ‘advice’ I didn’t ask for about way back billions of years ago when they were in their last relationship.

Nobody gets relationships perfectly the from the start. A relationship starts a certain way, and it grows between the two people. Sometimes the two people turn out to grow apart if they can’t grow together. But if a person isn’t in a relationship, they don’t learn anymore, and I stress perhaps above all that it’s not possible to learn more than a certain amount from the relationships of others around you. A relationship is the most personal thing you could engage yourself in with someone else. Aside from some basic ideas, what more could you get out of the personally tailored advice of some people who aren’t you?

These are the battles that you have to fight on your own.

These are the battles that you will have to do your own gruntwork for.

These are the battles that you will have to be brave all on your own for.

These are the battles that, if you call a retreat, nobody is going to order the next attack if it isn’t you. It falls on you alone.

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I went off on a bit of a tangent there because there are too many of my friends who are getting nowhere simply because they don’t want to go anywhere. And I stress that staying in one place, literally or figuratively, is fine, so as long as that’s really what you want.

Paladin and Rda are the sorts of people who went through all the trouble of going after what, or rather, who they wanted, in spite of a lot of things that many lesser people just give up for.

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