Gone in 60 Seconds

It’s not that it’s a particularly dangerous world, but,

one of the things I like the most is just watching over [Supergirl] when she falls asleep. And no, I don’t think that makes me a creepy stalker. Because of working overnights, I generally fall asleep after her. There’s this moment of transition between when her eyelids are still fighting to stay open to when they just roll back and resign. There is sometimes a relapse and they’ll flicker awake for a moment, and she’ll mumble something like “I’m not sleeping” only moments before passing out again. Maybe she’ll twitch her arm or something.

Having Supergirl fall asleep right beside me is one of those things that takes less than a minute of my night. I have Christmas lights in my bedroom that fade and pulse slowly, so sometimes, I might even miss it when her eyes finally shut. Or at her place, it’s just dark. But regardless, I can feel it, even if her face is nestled in the crook of my neck and she’s so close I can’t even see her– I can feel her body just give, her breathing change, and the softness about her that I’m always reminded of seems to grow even more soft. And I’ll just lie there, making sure she’s asleep. Sometimes for a few minutes. But even if it’s an hour, and sometimes it is because of the way my sleep schedule is wired, it doesn’t feel like wasted time. In my head, I hope somehow that even in dreams she knows I’m there. I’ll be the conclusion to a happy dream that she wakes out of or the first familiar face of the real world to comfort her if it’s a nightmare.

And in turn, sometimes, if for some reason I’m the one dozing off, I sometimes awaken to see that she’s there, her face right beside mine, her eyes just looking at me. It doesn’t creep me out. It just makes me feel like for all the time I spent up until now looking for where I wanted to be, there isn’t any question about it in the brief, sub-minute moments like this. And then I close my eyes.

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