The List

Every day, more and more people make ‘the list.’  The list isn’t written on paper, and it doesn’t always include specific names, but you can be sure that you can be on it. Anyone can be on it.  Let me give you a few examples of people who are on the list.

  • The biker who, having no reflectors or lights on him, decides to be riding in the pitch blackness of midnight on a bike path on the wrong lane, and who almost collides with me headfirst.
  • The driver who, after already being at a full stop at a red light, decides suddenly to burn the yellow with a quick turn across an intersection and almost kill me by T-boning me on my bicycle because it’s raining and he didn’t make enough effort to really look for anything except cars crossing.
  • The guy at U-Haul who made us wait 50 minutes for our pre-reserved truck while he dealt with an elderly couple who was asking stupid questions like “and if the 5 X 6 doesn’t work, can we bring it back and rent the 5 x 10 instead?”
  • The previous U-Haul guy’s jackass boss who just stood around sipping coffee since he was apparently off duty, totally unaffected by Quynh’s and my stares of death, as well as the stares of death of the line clients behind us.
  • The parents who got on my case about the ‘incompetent doctors’ sending their kid home because there was “no cure for a drunk kid except a night of rest and some responsible parenting.”
  • The guy who invented toe-socks.
  • The waiter who, even though I ordered before my buddies arrived at the restaurant and told him to “start cooking it now because I’m in a rush” still waited until we all arrived to confirm the order.
  • The guys at that bicycle shop who tried to charge me 50$ for splashguards.  FIFTY. DOLLARS.
  • That guy at badminton who doesn’t shut up and doesn’t play seriously, even though he wants to play with the big leagues.
  • The guys at Konami, for making a game like Silent Hill: Homecoming, where the “inverted aim” toggle doesn’t actually invert your view except when holding a firearm.  That’s just retarded, seriously!  What about when I’m walking around, or holding a lead pipe??

Yeah, everyday,   Everrrrrrryday.