So, I’ve taken off the binding from my hand as of yesterday. I’m quite certain that I sprained my thumb, but at least the swelling and pain has gone down enough that I can do normal everyday things with it again. I don’t think it’s safe to use this as a punching hand or a grappling hand yet, but, it is nice to be able to use chopsticks at least.
The situation was actually quite scary– as I mentioned, one of my punches decayed and went off course because I took a hit, and as a result, I smashed my thumb on the edge of the Terminator’s eye socket. A sprained thumb is one thing, and it was an accident, but he could have lost an eye. Thankfully, he got out of the situation with just a bruise.
Precious, that’s all I can say about it. Life, that is. There’s so much shit that can happen in an instant that is totally out of your control. We have to be careful, yet, if all we do is survive, then what do we get out of anything?
More than five years ago, when Terminator and I were first training in BJJ at the Senshido gym in downtown Montreal (I think it’s now closed) there was this time when he threw me on the matt of the boxing ring. In order to break my fall I threw out my arms, but for some reason, the angle of all this happening was such that with my right hand, I chopped him in the throat with all the force I’d intended to slap the ground with.
I hit the ground, suddenly surprised that he wasn’t jumping on top of me to take advantage of his throw, only to realize that he was there at the edge of the ring, clutching his throat and making this horrible wheezing noise with a red face. It sounded like he was trying to breathe through a bubble tea straw. It was one of the most terrifying sounds that I’d ever heard a person make in their life.
He turned out to be fine after a few minutes but there are dangerous things that happen everyday and none of it is intentional.
Some situations, we decide, we’re going to take risks. We take precautions, but precautions never prepare us for the full extent of the unkonwn. We decide, I’m gong to put on my mouthguard– but considering what I’m going to be doing, there is still a possibility I will lose my teeth. Accidents happen.
This is all really a metaphor though. Getting hurt physically always was a metaphor for other ways we can get hurt– the nice thing about the physical world though is that pyshiology is a lot easier to sort out that psychology.
We take risks every day, some small, some large. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. Some days, the first step is just getting out of bed, washing your face, and smiling in the mirror even if the other half of your brain tells you there’s nothing to smile about.