ReCharging Super Meter

by Jinryu

I had a discussion with SiB the other day and part of it concluded that we have very different ways about going about asking a girl out.

It might be a bit oversimplifying to say so, but for him, it’s easy.  He just does it.  He doesn’t need to know the girl on any meaningful level except that she’s cute and speaks English, and just like that, he can ask.  No hard feelings if he gets rejected– after all, he doesn’t know her, so what’s the harm done?  The trick is– don’t get any feelings involved.  “The moment feelings get involved,” he said, “I’m finished.”  It struck me as a really, really strange way of looking at it.  But then, I guess I understood a few things about it.  The first is that he’s never dishonest about his intentions, and he’s perfectly honest with whoever that he’s asking out that he doesn’t know where this is going but that he’s willing to give it a shot if she is.  The second is that — simply– he’s not afraid of opening that door

Me, on the otherhand, I won’t ask out someone I know nothing about– I guess what I’m saying is that I overthink things.  I get to know her better and I basically fall more and more for her, and then at some point it’s just madness– because at that point, I’m afraid that asking her out will ruin the relationship we’ve got up ’till now.  Most other things about life become a distracting chore, at times welcome ones.  I spare no idle thoughts, because they will wander to whoever she is and the idea of opening that door.

So much of the scenario is me running simulations in my head that it’s barely even real at all anymore.

Ironically, therin liest the difference between fiction and reality– fiction makes sense.

I called her up today to ask her out, finally.  Figured that an hour before the end of Canada day was as good as any.  I had spent the the evening hanging out with my family and later in the night, I was down at the Jazz Festival.  I think it’s a habit I picked up in Korea, but I like wandering through huge crowds where everybody is focused on something and I just move about without really being noticed or recognized by anyone around me.  It feels nice to be part of something huge and living like that without actually being responsible for any of it.  I think I like that — action and energy, but without responsibility.

So I was feeling pretty good about myself.  The first time I had gathered up the courage to ask, she wasn’t where I thought she was since I went to just drop in on her in person.  This was the second time that I’d gathered myself up, and decided to give her a ring– response?

“The person you are trying to reach cannot…”

Seriously, it’s not even funny.