Don’t Stop

by Jinryu

“I have it on good authority that you need a license.”

“You mean, I need a license if I get pulled over.”

“No.  I mean, you need to earn the fucking license!” he laughed.  “This isn’t like nobody giving a shit about a tree in a forest!  You earn a license and it means something regardless of whether or not, god forbid, you fall and crack your stupid skull open.”

“Yeah, it means I wasted a hundred plus hours of my life learning that people are bad drivers.  Did I tell you?  My sister actually got her license.”

“You’ve only ever ridden a bicycle and played videogames.  Your only motorized history is driving illegally in Korea for 8 months.  Doesn’t that make you a terrible driver?”

I smiled: “I like to think it makes me the driver.”

“You’re not in Korea, you know,” Pablo reminded me. (He, actually, is.) “You don’t have diplomatic immunity anymore.  There are LAWS in the west.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

I watch them.  Chick flicks.  Romantic comedies.  Feel-good movies.  Whatever you want to call them.  They go by different names, but, you know what kind of film I’m talking about.

Is there anything wrong with that?

They’re fun.  They really are.  And there are other things, of course, but sometimes, it’s just really hard to talk about those movies with anybody else because people get all uptight.  I’m not sure if it’s because people genuinely hate romantic comedies, I’m almost under the impression that they just kinda hate their own lives.

I mean, what are the reasons why people rail on RCs anyhow?

  • they oversimplify relationships.
  • they depict only beautiful people.
  • they raise your standards of the opposite sex unrealistically.
  • they’re cliche.
  • there’s always a happy ending.

… well, to be honest with you, that’s a pretty short list.  But you’d expect it to be, because I’m NOT someone who dislikes romantic movies.  It’s hard for me not to enjoy one.  But you know what else can suck?  Real life.

Real life can be unromantic, and unfunny.

I did some electronic housekeeping today.  Dropped a bunch of blog feeds that I’ve just grown out of.  Every now and then, you read a blog and you follow it for years and you’re pleasantly surprised to find that they’ve really gotten somewhere; those weren’t the ones I dropped.  The ones I dropped were the ones who were bitching about the same things.

But the ones who you could read from who actually… grew?  I mean, to be able to track it back, bookmark by bookmark, entry by entry…

I’ve been writing for a over ten years now (not always on Xanga, in case you were wondering) and man, you know, it’s a big thing to keep the habit up.  A lot of people get bored of blogging and they quit after a while, maybe because life got sucky or because life got too good, but in either case, something changed and they’d decided they no longer wanted to share.    But when you find some people who go through transitions, and they get through that, isn’t that great?

There are trends though, maybe you can call them ‘phases’, and one of them is this whole ‘cynicism’ thing.  I’m not sure if everybody goes through it or not, but I get this feeling that people think cynicism is cool because it makes people seem smart or something.  You know, pick your cause– then take it seriously, get your panties in a bunch, get your feathers in ruffle, do the much gnashing of teeth and all that– and really, really stand up for it, because that’s what people do when they’re smart.  They decide to hold a line here, and they will trade fire with you over it.  All because it’s scientific, or something.  We delude ourselves into thinking that the physical world, governed by science, will reveal itself to us if we look at it with enough of a dissecting eye.  We should disintegrate everything– including love.

I think the fact that romantic comedies ‘don’t make sense’ is exactly what people sometimes hate about them.  I mean, in real life, does love really make sense?  Sure, there are procedures, there are techniques, there are ways to do this or that, and you can even write a book like “The Game” about it all and people will read it and study it and try to practice it.  But all that stuff, those are the mechanics– they are sympthomatic of emotions that, deep down, don’t understand control.

Physically, I can sit still.  I’m good at that.  But inside?  Every bit as stupid as a movie.  Moments, here and there, which the hero, heroine, or audience would notice, but never all at once.

Man, whatever they put in these meds, it feels like I’ve been hit by fucking elephant tranqs.

The worst part is that they’re not actually making me sleepy (which I imagine they should), I’m just totally light headed.  I feel like I’m teetering between life and death right now.  I am typing right now might be my very last words.  Last.

Okay, maybe not.

I started recently watching season one of “How I Met Your Mom” and I really, really like this series.

I wonder if sometimes the reason why people don’t like romantic comedies is simply because they don’t believe that they can ever live up to the stupid stuff that goes on in them.  Okay, while it’s true that they usually end with a happy ending, well, put it this way– nobody’d write a story about those characters BEFORE they got their happy ending.  The movie just focuses on the happy ending.

So is it really that our lives can’t live up to romantic comedies, or is it that we just haven’t seen enough of our lives that we could section off a part of it, have it all typed up in a script, and say, that’s that? That’s the story?

GOd these MEDS!#

I suppose, at the end of the day, things like romantic comedies keep my spirit on it’s feet.

In the past week, lets look at what’s been going on:

  • I caught some sorta flu
  • I went to a funeral
  • The workplace was shortstaffed so everyone in my department had to do about 75% more work
  • I caught a really bad cold
  • I had to skip Numac, and, Terminator reports (from Numac) that there were only 3 people present (including him).  Three others would have come but decided not to when they found out that I wasn’t coming due to my condition (Honestly, most people can’t endure 2 hours of training with Terminator.)
  • GOD these MEDS

But you know what’s putting me in a positive mindset, it’s stories like the one told in “How I Met Your Mother.”

Maybe morso than in any single romantic comedy– because it’s an ongoing thing, and we don’t yet get to see the ‘happy ending,’ and the story takes the unique approach that a happy ending is assumed, yet that there was ALL this other stuff that went down to lead up to it, which though included a lot of heartache, also included a lot of great times.

For those of you who feel that you’re in a rut, get out of it!  You can do it.  Unless you don’t want to.  In which case, I’m not interested, because I’m not a better person than that.

And for those of you who just wanna find somebody to love and nurse you when you’re sick (headaches, stuffy nose, fever, nausea, chills, muscle and joint pains, loss of apetite, disorientation, boohoohoo! T_T) I leave you with some words from one of my mentors, Dr. Cox:

Because really, and you can disagree because maybe you think you’ve seen and been through more shit than me, but you cannot tell me how many happy endings came out of cynics.  Converted cynics, maybe.  Romantics pretending to be cynics, maybe.  But a true cynic?

Alright! Time to fall unconscious!