I remember back at 새중앙, at some point Tyrone decided that he had to resign from his position as the leader of the youth group. It came as a shock to most of us because he the sort of person who’s charisma you just sorta take forgranted– you just hear, you feel comfortable and at home, and that’s it. When you realize how much that part of your routine that played in an intricate balance of activities that make up your life, it sets in suddenly that you must find something to compensate for the changes.
And changes are never really huge on paper. If someone dies, what’s the difference for example? It’s one extra section filled out on a form, “Date of Death,” that used to be empty, but which was always waiting. Less than a mililitre of ink is taken to fill that up. Or what about moving? A few lines of text for your address in the subscription database for your magazines, maybe even a phone number for your bank accounts. A new girlfriend or boyfriend? Just a new name for your other friends to get to know.
Yet, changes are changes, and they impact us on many many levels beyond the actual intial change.
There’s a balance between instability and homeostasis. While it is important to change, it is also important to slow down and let some roots settle in. How does one decide where?
I made some plans before the New Year, and I think I called it right when I said I’d have to wait and see how my new job went first before figuring out how I’d go about all the other things in life.
As far as badminton goes, my current shift schedules make it impossible for me to play at Ahuntsic like I had sort of wanted to. They have badminton twice a week with a couple of hours of training in there too, and that would’ve really helped me improve as a player. I don’t get to play enough serious games at RsM to really improove so unless I can find a convenient time to play, the idea of starting up a new LBA league team next season is for now on the backburner. If I can’t find some way to log the hours that will take me beyond my current natural level, there’s no point in trying to compete as far as I’m concerned. Ditto for any plans I had to get back into mixed martial arts or to start trying out kendo.
Formal Chinese or Korean lessons are also a bit tougher because of the same timing issues, but we’ll see what progress I can make on my own.
As far as the Metropolitain Challenge goes (the 150km bike trip) I can see myself getting ready for that. My new workplace is right up on Atwater, which is conveniently accessible by bikepaths from my house. It’s a bit shy of a 10km trip. When the snow and ice lets up, I’m going to find myself a street bike (I can’t use my good one, because I’d be afraid of it getting stolen from wherever I park) and not even buy a buspass (the damn things are like 70$ now anyhow, which is a big jump from pre-Korea when I was still a student and could pay half that). That’ll theoretically log me about 20km per day, and I’ll alternate between sprint days and spinning day and help me regain my technique. I really think that I need some sort of physical routine because right now, doing calisthetics and playing badminton once a week really don’t cut it.
As far as living arrangments go, I’ve decided that I don’t need to move out anytime soon. I’m starting to pay rent now at my house– my parents didn’t ask for it, but I volunteered it– and I’m doing my share of the groceries, housework and cooking. I’m not thrilled about the whole hassle of getting a drivers’ liscense but I recognize that as my grandparents get older, it’d really help things a lot to have a spare driver in the family since my sister flunked her driving test.
I’ve found, after living alone for a year, that yes, I DO need my space. However, I also value the ability to come home after work to a family. Even if we hardly do anything together, just the presence of people to talk to, however inconsequentially, is important for my peace of mind, at least at this point where my career takes up so much time that it prevents me from going out as much. It doesn’t hurt either that financially, it just makes more sense to live at home. At some point though, maybe when my sister gets back from Toronto (she’s moved there temporarily to do some studies) maybe I’ll move out since by then my job situation will be more settled.
Anyways, those’re the plans for now.